As a formalist I vow to only post horrible photographs on Tumblr.
Don’t ever buy me anything. Odds are I will hate it and can’t be fucked to return it. What started as a nice thought ends up being my burden. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t want it yet here it is. You had your heart in the right place but your aesthetics are up your ass. I seem like a nice guy, right? So you know this is serious. The life jacket in this post was meant to save my life and I almost liked it but it didn’t fucking fit. Had I happened to have it on me when I drove by the store where it was purchased 30 minutes form home within a reasonable time frame I would have exchanged it for something less unbadass at a size larger but who the fuck carries a life jacket in a goddamned hatchback. I fucking don’t. Because I am a nice guy, I took this photo so I could sell it on ebay so everyone could be happy about the new life of this little reflective piece of shit but something happened. The phone rang. This fine piece of foam now lives in a halfway house with merchandise of similar character. This place has one of the most badass views of the skyline in the city. It’s fashionable to say fuck Christmas but you don’t really mean it. I do. I fucking do. If you buy me something I will smile and say thank you because I’m good at being fake and then after you gone I’ll cuss my new relationship with Mr and Mrs Stuff. Here’s an idea. On my birthday meet me at the rent-a-room and haul some shit off for me will ya? You choose the beer. I’m buying. Just don’t pick a shitty beer or I’ll bitch. Beer is different.
O M G I am so happy to see you. This is where I live now. I've missed you my old grump ass friend! xo
HELLO! WOW. I hope to find a sustainable way to use the tumblr as I am still a Twitter nerd. Thanks for saying hi. I’ll give this a go and try to do a better job of staying in touch. (Is this a public reply? — so lost here)
